The Weight of Holding On

There’s a shrub in my backyard that produced prolific blossoms this year. I counted eighty. At one point, the bush was so full of pink blossoms that it started to bow. I wondered if I needed to put a stake in the ground and tie some of the branches. But when I touched the shrub, the older flowers, the ones that had begun to wilt, gently fell off – one, two, three, four – and the plant sprang back to its original position. Just a gentle touch. Probably what the wind might’ve done if not for me.

A yoga teacher I once studied with liked to use the expression, ‘Hold on to Nothing’, especially when we held a pose for a few seconds longer than usual, the moment when I thought I couldn’t possibly stay there even a microsecond more. However, when I actually did what she asked – hold on to nothing – and let go of the thought that I couldn’t do it, I relaxed deeper, my muscles and mind calmed. It felt wonderful.

Last year, I wrote a blog post called ‘Hitting a Wall’ (October 7, 2025). I described how difficult it was for me to write historical fiction, given the extensive research required into an era and setting I was not familiar with. I wondered whether I was talented enough to write such a book and suggested shelving it.

However, I did not ditch it. Instead, I tried reshaping it—turning it into a women’s fiction novel with a modern twist, adding new characters while keeping the original ones and some core themes. I rewrote sixty pages and sent them to my beta readers.

They didn’t like it.

“It doesn’t have the same flow as your other books. There’s something tense about it.” One reader said. “I hated it,” said another.

Ouch. Disappointed, I set the rewrite aside and considered stepping away from writing altogether. I wondered if my creativity had dried up.

Not long after that, my husband and I flew to New Zealand. While there, I was immersed in other things—mountain hikes, ziplining in native forests, boat rides across aquamarine lakes, wandering botanical gardens, long dinners, wine tours. I didn’t think much about my writing or when I should be publishing next. I let go and enjoyed many special moments with my family.  

And then, on the flight home, an idea surfaced—unexpected and insistent. The more I sat with it, the more it pulled me in. Once home, I opened my laptop and haven’t really stopped writing since. I enjoy creating the characters, their world, their thoughts—shaping scenes, following where they lead.

There are times to hold on—gripping a ladder, steadying myself on a handrail, holding fast to hope or to what I love. That matters. And holding on to nothing can be just as important: engaging with life without trying to control it, clearing the mind of its clutter, and trusting what wants to emerge. Like the shrub in my backyard, I’m lighter when I release what’s ready to fall.

Enjoy the Passage of Time.

Sharon

© 2026. Sharon Kreider. All Rights Reserved