“The grass is greener on the other side” is a common cliché. Others are: “Looking for greener pastures,” “Can’t see the forest through the trees,” and “The grass is greener where it is watered.” Or as in the famous Rolling Stones song, which stresses that we might not get what we want but will probably get what we need.
Psychological studies state that humans often do not feel satisfied or content with what they have because our brains are hard-wired to seek improvement or advancement. This means we quickly adjust to positive changes and look for the next best thing. This mix of psychological, social, and existential factors is rooted in a fundamental human instinct called desire.
Desire is defined as “to wish for something strongly.” It’s a persuasive emotion. In Buddhism, desire is viewed as the tendency to crave pleasure, immorality, or materialism, which can lead to suffering and dissatisfaction. However, desire can also propel us to better ourselves or our situation.
I’ve often thought about this paradox, especially if I’m on a silent meditation retreat, supposedly nurturing my spiritual life, and find myself daydreaming about winning the lottery. Oh, boy! What could I buy? All sorts of images popping into my head. A new car. What color would I like? Dark gray. Yes, I like that color. Is this bettering myself? I don’t think so. I also get in trouble when I long for things I cannot change, ruminate about something, or become attached to a particular outcome. It’s not the desire per se; it’s the clinging—that extra part. When I get stuck there, looking over the fence at the green grass, thinking it has to be better than my green grass, or wanting something out of reach, I feel nervous, worried, restless, or even fearful.
However, when I paddle my way out of my wants and yearnings and see things as they are and not as I hope they might be or could be, something magical happens. I embrace the ordinary, the highs and the lows, everything inside my mind, and what’s outside in the world, and just like that, life becomes clear. Materialism fades away. The desire to be somebody, change something, set everything right, get rid of my flaws, or save the world ceases, and I am fulfilled with things precisely as they are because, in the end, don’t we all leave this earth with nothing?
“Freedom from desire leads to inner peace.” Lao Tzu
Enjoy the Passage of Time.
Sharon
© 2025. Sharon Kreider. All Rights Reserved.
