None of us know how long we will live, but would you want to know if you had a magic ball that told you the precise time of your death? Perhaps you might say yes if you are young and your magic ball reports that you have 100 more years to live. 100 years is a long time and why think about that now? Would you want to know if you are older, and your magic ball shows only one year or six months left on this earth? Would you do anything differently?
Stephen Levine wrote a small book titled A Year to Live, which offers an opportunity for folks to resolve the denial of death in a year-long experiment in healing, joy, and revitalization, living your year as if it were your last. I tried it. Twice. I failed at some of the things I set for myself. Some of the experiments were true tests, especially the letting go part. One experiment was to spend a day doing nothing, I mean really nothing – not speaking, not watching television or checking the computer or the phone, not listening to music, not eating, not exercising, not reading, not doing anything except sitting quietly, paying attention to my breath, trying to keep my heart open. It was tough to surrender like that. I got frustrated a lot.
I’ve not met anyone who honestly had a last year. My mother had a few days. My sister died within weeks. Two of my dearest friends had a few months. My brother died in just a few minutes, or maybe it was seconds. I don’t really know, but it was fast. I think most of us die without much forewarning. Even if we are given a devastating medical diagnosis, we would likely try to follow all treatments and beat the odds. So, I think having a whole year to appreciate life consciously can be a wonderful thing, and therefore, I’ve chosen to revisit this experiment of living this year as if it were my last. Starting now.
If I die suddenly, I don’t want my last words to be, ‘Oh, s**t.’ Instead, I want to sharpen my life and hope for the remarkable possibility of dying consciously. I want to inquire at the deepest level I know and approach whatever lies ahead with clarity, compassion, and insight. I want to live knowing that I could die tomorrow.
I will periodically blog on how things are going and share what I learn along the way. Look for them and please do share your thoughts from time to time.
“It is not death a man should fear, but never beginning to live.” Marcus Aurelius
Sharon
© 2024. Sharon Kreider. All Rights Reserved.
